He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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