we're blogging at a bar
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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