You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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