take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
