My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Everyone says I win the strip club
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
