I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
