And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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