If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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