I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
