Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Randomize
