Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
