bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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