I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
