It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
