How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
