The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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