just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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