I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
