Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
