tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
