Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
