wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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