then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
