They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
