I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
