i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize
