Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
