it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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