So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
