I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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