Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
