im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
