I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
