if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just googled if crying burns calories
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
