playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
