I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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