He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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