I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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