I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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