He asked to "fluff my boner.."
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
