PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
