Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
How naked do you want me to be?
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