I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
