She's JV to your varsity
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
