i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
