i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
