i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize