She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
