How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
