no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
