Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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