His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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