so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
